So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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