Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
