i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
