He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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