put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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