He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
