I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize