what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
