YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
