Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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