i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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