question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
