I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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