i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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