um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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