no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
