Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
North Korea, Best Korea!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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