Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
