for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize