iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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