plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
