He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize