Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
