Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
