I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
