just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wear drunk well.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
