dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
