Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now

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(785): View more from Kansas

So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?

Fav 13 874 4051
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(615): View more from Tennessee

good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.

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(914): View more from New York

you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?

Fav 12 3546 1229
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.

Fav 7 3088 958
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(416): View more from Toronto

I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning

Fav 10 883 1398
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(714): View more from California

Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson

Fav 0 56 22
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(410): View more from Maryland

You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.

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