she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
