I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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