this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
