ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
