We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
