Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
