Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
