I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize