i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
