you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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