either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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