I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
