I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
