I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
