I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
