Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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