It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
