Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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