okay pat passed out under dana's car
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
