quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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