I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
