it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
