I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
