eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
