Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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