I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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