Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
