David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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