OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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