HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
well most of my day revolves around power hour
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
