I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
