you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
