I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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