I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i believe in u and ur pee
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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